a million ways to die in the west mustache quotes

Albert: My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug. I never see him. Offers may be subject to change without notice. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Comedy 2014 1 hr 55 min. Albert: Oh, f*** that. The men who were courageous and resilient were the men who prospered. Making a splash: A deep dive into the live-action. This version also has even more footage in deleted scenes, and an alternate beginning and ending. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. There is a post-credits sequence involving the gunman at the fair from the final scene. [stammers] It's a weather experiment. Like. You can't blame Seth MacFarlane, that one-man comedy . "A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes." A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - He Drank the Whole Bowl! A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - That's a Dollar Bill! That's a dollar bill!". Given his knack for singing the guy truly is multi-talented MacFarlane might have done better with following the musical comedy example of Paint Your Wagon rather than the slapstick of Mel Brooks for his western swing. Edward: Yeah. Maybe its his way of paying her back for mentioning her in his tasteless We Saw Your Boobs song at the Oscars. All Rights Reserved. MacFarlane deserve some credit for allowing Theron to upstage him, sometimes just with a knowing look. I mean, sure it's faster than the Pony Express, but what good is it if you can't send a picture of your dick? Albert recklessly challenges Foy to a gunfight a week hence, even though the hapless sheep minder literally cant shoot to save his life. I'm the guy in the crowd making fun of the hero's shirt; that's who I am. Inspiration for the Work: The film originated as an inside joke between Seth MacFarlane and co-writers Alec Sulkin and Wesley Wild while they were watching Hang 'Em High. expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Toronto Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. Monty Pythons Every Sperm is Sacred is sort of the best example I can think of, he said. Anna: Especially a smoking hot girl. I suck at dancing. When the rivalry leads to a duel, he gets help from an unexpected, beautiful source. All rights reserved. A Million Waysto Die in the West is a gross-out Gunsmoke, with MacFarlane directing an old-timey facsimile of his modern self in the lead role of Albert, a cowardly sheep herder in the Arizona of 1882. A Million Ways to Die in the West is a 2014 American western comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane, who wrote the screenplay with Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild. I read an article in the paper. Depressed and discouraged by how his life is full of disappointment and how every instance of love is then destroyed and robbed from him, Albert finds comfort in Anna (Charlize Theron), a newcomer to his small village. R, 1 hr 55 min. rights reserved. The 50 greatest TV and movie detectives of all time. But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put his newfound courage to the test. Terms and Policies Yet the screenplay he penned with Family Guy/Ted hands Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild is slapdash at best. MacFarlane certainly seems to embrace this contradiction. And in director/co-writer/star Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West (in theaters today), Neil Patrick Harris, playing the douchebag proprietor of an Old West mustache shop, loses a . The only time it came out of nowhere was when Charlize said, "Hey, Ewan McGregor is doing a movie up the street!" Wandered in there, and then when I went to pick it up, somehow it had made 20 dollars. Cochise: There is an ancient proverb among my people: Sometimes the only way for a man to find true happiness is to take drugs in a group. And, uh, wild animals. The joke evolved into "riffing on the idea of how dull, depressing, and dangerous it must have been to live in the Wild West." Missing Trailer Scene: The bit with the doctor . But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. Toronto Star articles, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Conversations are opinions of our readers and are subject to the, The Toronto Star and thestar.com, each property of Toronto Star He was Methodist, I'm half Jewish. Support. Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". George Stark: [Farts] That came out of my penis! Quotes.net. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival.As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival.As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Vulgar -- yes, but just not funny. 2014 Back Lot Music. All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. In Seth MacFarlanes A Million Ways to Die in the West, Neil Patrick Harris takes center stage for one of the films best sequences the highly choreographed and riotously funny Mustache Song., I do always feel like everything that I do should have some sort of musical component, MacFarlane told EW. When a sheep herder who hates the West saves a young lady . But if I caught you by surprise Well, Anna taught me just enough to get me in the ballpark. I'm about to shoot a full load at your cans. Apple Inc. I don't wanna put myself through that kind of f***ing aggravation. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Great Scott. All rights reserved. By creating an account, you agree to the 10. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. this link is to an external site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines. Anna: Yeah, but those are quarter loads. Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. After his directorial debut Ted was widely praised by critics and became one of the highest-grossing R-rated comedies ever made, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane had the freedom to do whatever he wanted with . After Seth MacFarlane's directorial debut Ted became one of the highest-grossing comedies ever made, he pretty much had the freedom to do whatever he wanted for his second movie. He shows impeccable taste in how his movie looks (his DOP Michael Barrett makes Monument Valley a locale to die for) and also how it sounds. Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries: What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? Ruth: But this is just the outside, there's these folds. Millie: You're okay with your girlfriend screwing, like, 15 different guys every day and getting paid to do it? The film follows Albert Stark (MacFarlane) who feels certain that the western frontier is trying to kill him while coping from his break-up with his girlfriend. Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. He knows how to make people laugh, as demonstrated in his Family Guy TV series, his movie smash Ted and in sporadic moments of his gig hosting the Oscars last year. [leaves]. A Million Ways to Die in the West is not for everyone. 1, Independence Day: Resurgence (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Hail, Caesar! Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. Entertainment Weekly is a registered trademark of Meredith Corporation All Rights Reserved. After Albert backs out of a gunfight, his fickle girlfriend leaves him for another man. A 2021 study estimated more than a third of U.S. heat deaths each year can be attributed to human-caused global warming. There is an unrated, Extended Cut available, approximately 20 minutes longer. https://www.quotes.net/movies/a_million_ways_to_die_in_the_west_110222, A Million Ways to Die in the West Screenplay, A Million Ways to Die in the West's quotes, https://www.quotes.net/movies/a_million_ways_to_die_in_the_west_quotes_110222. With Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Liam Neeson. Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. If You've Only Got a Moustache. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "A Million Ways to Die in the West" is a moronic 2. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! After Albert backs out of a gunfight, his fickle girlfriend leaves him for another man. 18 Songs, 41 minutes You know, like snakes. Holy sh*t. To build a home and a life in this harsh, unforgiving country required that a man be bold, fearless, and tough as iron. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. The shooting gallery at the fair has only 10 targets (2 rows of five), but Anna shoots 12 for a perfect score. 17+. Casting was done between December 2012 and March 2013. Your sheep are everywhere. Gunman at Fair in Final Scene: Somebody bring me one of them white women. Anyone can read Conversations, but to contribute, you should be a registered Torstar account holder. 116 minutes. Anna and Albert. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly . Like, My God, you put all this work and all this time and all this artistry into a song about sperm?'. Listen to "A Million Ways to Die" below and let us know what you think. Like. For a few chuckles more. It found more than 1,100 deaths a year from climate change-caused heat in . 116 minutes. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. Food was scarce, disease was rampant, and life was a daily struggle for survival. This was the American frontier in 1882, a hard land for hard folk. All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Sh**ty Showdown, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - If You've Only Got a Moustache, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - You Really Do Have a Death Wish. Foy: My dear, they're practically Chinese! But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. Vulgar, crude, self-referential, and irreverent, A Million Ways to Die in the West is a typical Seth MacFarlane comedy. the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. It just makes it that much funnier. A Million Ways to Die in the West. 2014 Back Lot Music. Entertainment Weekly may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Albert: She moved to town a couple of years ago to take over the schoolmarm job. Anna: There is something about connecting over mutual hatred that is just so much deeper than mutual love. PREVIEW. Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries: What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? Albert: It's just another way God mysteriously shows that He loves us. These are full loads. 11. What should be an ensemble comedy is more of a showcase for MacFarlane, who also co-writes and takes production and music credits. Me too. 4:18 . Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. Apple Inc. He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. "Don't go snackin' if you been tobaccin'.". 15. But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put . CookiePolicy For example, if you drain a certain amount of venom from the fangs of a diamondback rattler into a hollow-tip bullet, you really only need one shot. His comedy might be irreverent, but the key to success in a musical number, MacFarlane says, is treating your material with the utmost seriousness. But I got great tits. Unexpectedly, Anna and Albert have a genuine connection--and as our unassuming hero learns the fundamentals of survival in the inhospitable wild west--an ironic, yet grave challenge against an unforeseen and mighty adversary demands that he puts to the test his newly found abilities. [Stark comes running around the corner and falls and his face]. 2014 Universal Studios. Albert: Hey, sorry I killed your husband. Seth MacFarlane, the rowdy "Family Guy" creator who wrote, directed, and stars in the new comedy "A Million Ways to Die in the West," stopped by TODAY Thursday to talk about the film. It's 1882 in Arizona, the heartland of the American West. Albert is attracted to her, initially, by her beauty, but realizes she's the courage and confidence he has always hungered for. Ted became one of the highest-grossing comedies ever made, he pretty much had the freedom to do whatever he wanted for his second movie. Not only did he adapt a song from the period, but he also hired a veteran choreographer and an army of Broadway dancers for the sequence. Constantly terrified, the meek and lily-livered sheep farmer, Albert Stark, mainly struggles to stay out of trouble in dusty and dangerous 1880s Arizona, utterly convinced that everything out there can and will kill him. Copyright 2023 Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. Internet Service Terms Anna: I don't think you should leave tomorrow. Gunman at Fair in Final Scene: [after shooting someone] people die at the fair. A Million Ways to Die in the West hits theaters on May 30. Check out the interactive photo below for more details on the scene. Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Jurassic Park Movies Ranked By Tomatometer, RT25: Celebrating 25 Years of Rotten Tomatoes, Weekend Box Office Results: Super Mario Joins the Billion-Dollar Club. Albert: I know. As a very loose rendition of historical fiction, it requires an ability to enjoy the suspension of belief in order to appreciate the humor, as well as an ability to look past the few offensive remarks to that are both poignant stabs at the time period as well as timely interpretations of . It's got to be bad for their brains, right? At least stay through the weekend. Copyright 2023 Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. I went to your farm the other day, and I saw one in the back yard, three way up on the ridge, two in the pond and one on the roof. [Albert notices a glow from inside a building and peeks inside], [It is Doc Brown from "Back to the Future" working on the DeLorean, which is under a tarp; Doc notices Albert and covers up the car]. Opens Friday at major . Anna: Oh God, that was never gonna work out anyway. After backing out of a duel and losing his girlfriend, sheep farmer Albert slowly rebuilds his self-respect with the help of a married woman. See production, box office & company info. Republication or distribution of this content is Seth MacFarlane, Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West: A Novel. Making a splash: A deep dive into the live-action Little Mermaid with a new generation's Ariel. Albert: [Before drinking from the bowl with the indian tribe] "Mila Kunis" - subtitled as "Fine". As Albert and Anna start to fall for each other in the process, Anna has to decide if and when she will tell him the truth: that she is already married, albeit unhappily, to Clinch Leatherwood, a vicious outlaw who, along with his gang, she and Lewis are waiting for in Old Stump. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Trailer 1, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Ways to Die, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Eddie's Girl, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Things Could Be a Lot Worse, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Eddie's First Time. After all, you can never go wrong combining westerns and music . A Million Ways to Die in the West is a 2014 American Western black comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane and written by MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild.The film features an ensemble cast including MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Silverman, and Liam Neeson.The film follows a cowardly frontiersman who gains courage with the . As Albert and Anna start to fall for each other in the process, Anna has to decide if and when she will tell him the truth: that she is already married, albeit unhappily, to Clinch Leatherwood, a vicious outlaw who, along with his gang, she and Lewis are waiting for in Old Stump. Development for A Million Ways to Die in the West began while MacFarlane and co-writers Sulkin and Wild were watching western movies during the development of Ted. And just a small amount of venom in an open wound is enough to kill a man if he's Albert: Did he hear all that smart stuff I did? But some men were just big giant pussies. MacFarlane also relied on veteran singer and two-time Grammy nominee Amick Byram to do the vocals. Link to Are You There God? He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. Chinese Date: How should I know? But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. Ditto the overdone sideshow of Sarah Silvermans energetic town prostitute bonding with Giovanni Ribisis bible-thumping virginal shoemaker. "A Million Ways to Die in the West" lacks the inspired lunacy of Mel Brooks' timeless Western, and won't last the ages as a seminal swipe at the genre, but at least MacFarlane gives the . I suck at sheep. Albert: No, no, no, no! Copyright 2023 Anna: Oh, thank God, 'cause I was like ah [mimics gun to her head] , kill me. Edward: No I feel like I should have a piece of cake or something. He got . This is MacFarlanes first live-action lead role (he voiced the potty-mouthed bear in Ted) and for my money hes simply not great at being the leading man, coming off as more obnoxious than straight-up funny. Apple Inc. Isn't the fair on Saturday? . Amick Byram. Star Wars Jedi: Survivor Has Perfected Lightsaber Combat, Project Milo Was a Big Swing (and a Miss) at Leveling Up Game AI, Mrs. Doubtfire Actor Matthew Lawrence Alleges He Lost Marvel Role After Refusing Director's Advances, Fan-Favorite Deadpool 2 Character is Returning for Deadpool 3, King of the Hill Actor Confirms Revival Will Feature a Time Jump, Amazon Prime Members: Get $5 in Free Amazon Credit, The Biggest Games Coming in May and Beyond, Xbox Storage Expansion Cards on Sale for New All-Time Low Price, Moon Mystery - Official Kickstarter Trailer, Marvel Cinematic Universe: Phase One - Avengers Assembled, Resident Evil 4 Clockwork Castellan Locations. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. Nov 20, 2014. Edward: Man, I see kids everywhere with those stock hoops lately. Copyright 2023 Meredith Corporation. WARNING: The rest of this article contains minor spoilers for A Million Ways To Die In The West.If you haven't seen the film, read on at your own risk! Doc Brown: Nothing. By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and As a fan of Seth MacFarlane's series Family Guy and his feature film debut Ted, it's a shame to report that if you've seen the trailers for his new western comedy A . 1:31. 3 likes. Its justits a song about sperm, and yet they treat it with such legitimacy in their orchestration and their vocal performance and their choreography, and its this huge number with what looks to be over 100 dancers on screen. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. As . 1882. Basically, if it's not you, it wants to kill you, and just might succeed. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. 1882. Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Seyfried, Charlize Theron. Albert: Oh my god, please! The one where EW follows up with the cast. May 29, 2014. Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. But jokes that weren't funny the first time aren't funny the sixth time, either. Comedy, Romance, Western. 1:31. What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. Seth MacFarlane's western spoof A Million Ways to Die in the West includes nods to such genre classics as The Searchers and Unforgiven. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. When she sees me, she'll be intimidated as f***. Seth MacFarlane writes, directs and stars in this Western about a sheep farmer who falls in love with an outlaw's wife. What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. Although she states otherwise, the shoot-out is arguably the last straw for Louise, Albert's vain girlfriend, who breaks up with him. If You've Only Got a Moustache. permissions/licensing, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. It was released on DVD and Blu-ray on October 7, 2014, and earned more than $15 million in home media sales. and the Albert: [At target practice] I fired a gun at the shooting gallery. He's been dead for a few minutes. A Million Ways to Die in the West. Seth MacFarlane directs, produces, co-writes and plays the role of the cowardly sheep farmer Albert in A Million Ways to Die in the West. This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. All A Million Ways to Die in the West Videos A Million Ways to Die in the West: Trailer 1 2:30 Added: January 19, 2017 A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Ways to Die 2:24 Added . Chinese Date: My father is a railroad worker, like every other Chinaman. At a recent press conference held in Los . Old Stump Bluegrass . Is it possible to overthink moronic humour? Your mileage may vary depending on your enthusiasm for his smirking frat-boy comedy. Web. R. Apple TV & Privacy However, a pistol-packing woman named Anna (Theron) rides into town and helps Albert find his inner courage. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Anna: I mean we're basically splitting this country 50/50 with them. Opens Friday at major theatres 14A. But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? 1 May 2023. Doctors! Old Stump Bluegrass. . Sign in to rate and Watchlist for personalized recommendations. Albert: I'm not the hero. He followed up Ted with 2014's A Million Ways to Die in the West, a spoof of westerns pointing out just how bleak and unromantic life in the Old West would've been.. RELATED: 10 Funniest Quotes From Ted While A Million Ways to Die in the West was nowhere .

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